I don't see that mean, it matches the impression I have from transfire's comment. Nobody is saying that transfire's comment fully reflects the person who made it, but based only on the comment, it is an appropriate response, as far as I see it.
Something can be both accurate and mean at the same time. Example: "hey, you're fat". I feel that "hey, you're bitter and need to get some friends" is about the same ballpark. Maybe other people have a thicker skin, though.
So how would you write that message? The big part of the statement was skipped by you:
> I think you should make more friends that are women so that you can talk to them about the way they view relationships.
Which definitely doesn't sound near to "hey, you're fat."
And that "fat-like" part is also in fact different:
"It sounds like you're pretty bitter (...)" -- note that it discusses the impression of the written comment not the person.
Btw I don't think it's OK to remove your claim that roymurdock's response was "mean" as the responses then lose the context, maybe deleting the comment would be more appropriate?
I guess I wouldn't write it. When I read transfire's and roymurdock's comments, it's not obvious to me whose opinion is more informed, or if the question even makes sense. Their experiences with women could just be different, and one ended up more cynical than the other.
> Btw I don't think it's OK to remove your claim that roymurdock's response was "mean"
Yeah. Sorry. I was just trying to make my own comment less mean :-/
I'm not trying to be mean. I'm pushing OP to reflect on why he holds some of the viewpoints that he does.
I'm also not trying to imply that OP does not have enough friends. Just that he might get a broader picture of women in general if he had more female friends.
I read your edited comment about how that made you sad. A lot of things on HN make me sad - there are many unnecessarily mean, rude, snarky comments posted here with amazing regularity. I try to make helpful comments without putting others down. I'm sorry if my comment came off in a negative manner. I'm not trying to add to the general negativity of the site.
That's a pretty unkind thing to say to a stranger on the internet. I lose a bit of faith in humanity every time I see such things.