>Some vocalize that they notice something is off and I might tell them about autism and give them an outline of what it means. If I tell them I often also ask if they can put it into concrete examples of what I do differently. They never can.

This really hits home for me.

I've never been diagnosed as autistic or Asperger's, but I'm very socially awkward, anxious, and have always been considered quite "weird" by peers and strangers. I also believe I share many symptoms with those who are on the autistic spectrum; if I ever saw a doctor I suspect I might get diagnosed with something.

I've also just about never been invited to any social gathering or to "hang out", though even if I was asked I'd almost definitely make an excuse and say I couldn't.

Any time I ask someone about exactly what it is that I do differently, I can never get a precise answer.

Over time I've come to realize what some of those differences are, and every day I try to consciously change or remove them, but it can be difficult. Sometimes I'll forget, sometimes it'll be very instinctive, etc. It really does feel like putting on a mask of normalcy a lot of the time though.

If it makes you feel any better, there are a lot of people like you and me out there.

Ditto. I'm well past the age where a diagnosis can officially be made, but I know several people with autism or Aspergers at varying degrees of functionality, and they will tell me that they think I've got Aspergers.

I went through a long period where I kind of mostly knew how to fake normal, and be sociable, and hate it, but I've mostly gotten past that. I attribute it to getting really lucky with friends- high school had a lot* of people who were just as weird as me in different ways, so we could all tolerate each others weirdness together and not feel awkward about figuring out social skills. And then I got even luckier in college to get noticed by people who actually did invite me to go hang out and go to parties, generally show that they cared, even if I didn't end up going half the time. Things like making eye contact, figuring out how small talk works, conversational turn-taking, reading other people's facial expressions / other body language steel feel like consciously applied skills that do not come naturally, but with a few years of practice with that kind of background, it is no longer actively miserable to do.

The biggest influence in all that, though, was my wife. I really lucked out on finding a nice understanding, mutually introverted young lady who decided she wanted to marry me and let me skip trying to figure out how dating works! She's a big help with interfacing with the Real World.

*Uh, by the standards of my typical preferred introverted circle-of-friends size. Like, 5.