So, I managed to get in the same situation last year too. Not as much $$$, but still in the 'no longer have to work' and 'my family will never be poor again' camp here.
Honestly, yeah, I feel you man. I'm a bit adrift. I had a bad childhood too. I largely defined myself through my work and effort. I saw other people (mostly older co-workers in my career) as NPCs. I majored in Physics, PHD in neuro. I might get it, I dunno.
But I have a family, and that changes things a lot for me. I have built in 'purpose' in my life that is orthogonal to my 'work life'. So, caveats there. Now, work life comes after kid-time, in terms of priority.
The things that I can say that are different is that I'm finding purpose through others. The way I see it: We're all just naked beach apes on a soggy rock flung through the void, telling stories to each other around the fire.
So, tell the stories that matter.
I.E. get to work trying to help other people. You have the fuck you money now, like me, it would be a shame to not say 'fuck you' a few times. To the people that really need it said to them. This is gonna sound really strange for HN, but, maybe start going to religious services. Generally, religion is there to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. That's maybe something you sound like you need. Shop around for churches/mosques/etc. Unitarian Universalist is the 'church' for atheists, pretty old too, not a 'new' thing. It's good to get into a community that does a lot of volunteer work, FYI.
You said you found an iota of purpose with the DOGE thingy. Maybe try breaking that down a bit for yourself, explore why those feeling came up. You're a go-getter, ready and willing to work hard. It does sound like some sort of public service (define that as broadly as you can) would be good for you, and for all of us.
Still, we're both 'babies' at being rich. It's gonna take some time, maybe longer than we have left, to figure that out for ourselves.
One real thing though: Get your GF back, fast. Grovel. You'll find nothing but gold-diggers now, it's just a fact, I'm so sorry about it. She was there before you were rich (I think I read that right?), you know she's in it for you, not the cash. From what you said, she doesn't mind the hours you work. Or just you in general. That's a tremendous gift. If you want the kids, she's the best path you got for a family you're not paranoid about. Really. Marriage is a market, and you're hot property now, be very careful. Honestly, if you can get her back, fuck that pre-nup shit too. Jump in with both feet, never leave, tie yourself up, make it really hard to go. Your future self will hate you, but that guy's future self will love you.
Best of luck man. Take the time, forgive yourself for dumb shit as you get used to it. Get back to work and say fuck you a bit more for the right reasons. You sound like a chill dude who is trying hard. Keep that vibe.
Honestly, yeah, I feel you man. I'm a bit adrift. I had a bad childhood too. I largely defined myself through my work and effort. I saw other people (mostly older co-workers in my career) as NPCs. I majored in Physics, PHD in neuro. I might get it, I dunno.
But I have a family, and that changes things a lot for me. I have built in 'purpose' in my life that is orthogonal to my 'work life'. So, caveats there. Now, work life comes after kid-time, in terms of priority.
The things that I can say that are different is that I'm finding purpose through others. The way I see it: We're all just naked beach apes on a soggy rock flung through the void, telling stories to each other around the fire.
So, tell the stories that matter.
I.E. get to work trying to help other people. You have the fuck you money now, like me, it would be a shame to not say 'fuck you' a few times. To the people that really need it said to them. This is gonna sound really strange for HN, but, maybe start going to religious services. Generally, religion is there to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. That's maybe something you sound like you need. Shop around for churches/mosques/etc. Unitarian Universalist is the 'church' for atheists, pretty old too, not a 'new' thing. It's good to get into a community that does a lot of volunteer work, FYI.
You said you found an iota of purpose with the DOGE thingy. Maybe try breaking that down a bit for yourself, explore why those feeling came up. You're a go-getter, ready and willing to work hard. It does sound like some sort of public service (define that as broadly as you can) would be good for you, and for all of us.
Still, we're both 'babies' at being rich. It's gonna take some time, maybe longer than we have left, to figure that out for ourselves.
One real thing though: Get your GF back, fast. Grovel. You'll find nothing but gold-diggers now, it's just a fact, I'm so sorry about it. She was there before you were rich (I think I read that right?), you know she's in it for you, not the cash. From what you said, she doesn't mind the hours you work. Or just you in general. That's a tremendous gift. If you want the kids, she's the best path you got for a family you're not paranoid about. Really. Marriage is a market, and you're hot property now, be very careful. Honestly, if you can get her back, fuck that pre-nup shit too. Jump in with both feet, never leave, tie yourself up, make it really hard to go. Your future self will hate you, but that guy's future self will love you.
Best of luck man. Take the time, forgive yourself for dumb shit as you get used to it. Get back to work and say fuck you a bit more for the right reasons. You sound like a chill dude who is trying hard. Keep that vibe.