Voting democrat is to provide approval of this ideology and to give it a greater platform. Many americans are equally perplexed at this, and a lot of republican voters exist precisely as a reaction to it.
Voting Republican is to enact fascism and tear down the tenants of democracy in the US, while siphoning as much money and power to big business and the upper classes as possible. The ideology you cite is remarkably tame by comparison.
Hmm that's interesting. Who told you that? The US just had a republican president. Many states have had republican government for decades. Do we see this happening? No. Instead here we are talking about a real and tangible event, largely championed by mainstream democrats.
If you think the average republican voter would support enacting "fascism [to] tear down the tenants of democracy in the US, while siphoning as much money and power to big business and the upper classes as possible", then I suggest you talk to some more. You may be quite surprised.
Regardless, I think this is a major pitfall of the two party system. What you say certainly has truth. What I say has truth as well. However discourse usually devolves to attacking the extremists in each group and no real discussion can be had. I am optimistic about the future. Have a nice day.
I was quite literally obsessed with programming. I would wake up in the morning, program all day, go to sleep, and repeat it the next day. This earned me many accolades in college and a great job afterward. But, like you, if I paused for a moment to reflect, I felt so incredibly empty and alone. The programming increasingly became an escapist activity to avoid these feelings. Then one day my old high school friend, whom I had not seen in many years, invited me to spend time with his friends from the Air Force. Stepping outside of my bubble was incredibly refreshing. None of these people knew anything, nor cared, about computers or programming. Wow! What was the point of everything I was doing? This thing I spent so much time on, truly the focus of my life, and these people do not even care one bit about it. How can they even live? Lol. I then decided to take the whole thing MUCH less seriously and branch out into all kinds of areas.
Here are things to consider doing
- drastically reduce the amount of time you spend behind a screen (even immediately throw away a lot of math/science/etc paraphernalia)
- join a regular gym
- start lifting weights
- join a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu gym
- sincerely evaluate your style of dress (do you give off a feminine-milquetoast or masculine vibe) visit Reddit, etc for ideas
- if you are a gamer, immediately stop
- sign up for volunteering / toastmasters / improv class / races / all varieties of dancing / meetups / doordash / Uber driver (point being, meet more people, put yourself out there way more)
I can't understate how much a fitness program and a proper wardrobe can turn your life around. In college I learned how to dress myself, how to layer, how to buy shirts that fit, etc. and after college I lost a lot of weight. Hoo boy. I became an entirely different person. If I knew I looked this good under all my baby fat, I would have started dieting 10 years prior.
To all the young men out there in particular... live up to your potential, man. You're only going to be in your 20s once. You don't want to spend it all waddling around in cargo shorts with messy hair. Lose the weight, lift some barbells, eat more protein, buy a Seiko, iron your work shirt, layer your clothes, try a skincare routine, and look as good as you possibly can. You'll become more confident, and people love confidence, so you'll be even more liked.
Hard disagree there. Yes, gaming can be addicting, but that is also the case with basically all habits. If you easily get addicted to games, then I would suggest sticking to shorter single-player games.
I would add reading (fiction or non-programming books) and traveling to the list of things to spend more time and money on.
On the positive side, it can sometimes provide people with a needed social outlet, at least if it's an online social game.
It can also sometimes stimulate a mind that's depressed and lethargic, giving it a much needed jump-start so to speak which carries over into other productive tasks.
Conversely, it can get you addicted to and dependent on quick and easy dopamine hits, killing your ability to focus for extended durations needed for any kind of productive work. It can also cause mental fatigue that makes committing to or completing non-trivial tasks difficult or impossible.
Gamers have to be aware of both effects, and honest with themselves about which are occurring, and willing to change their behavior if they observe the negative ones.
And I /second reading and traveling as better uses of time and money.
The hard branch back to the start is a perfect indicator of dysfunction.
I think the best way to sum up the very negative aspects of gaming is their fake progress. To use the 4 quadrant model, gaming usually belongs in the not-important quadrant with mostly not-urgent. But most game environments create their own 4 quadrant sub world. The issue then appears because those urgent and important and the various combinations thereof then mess with the real reward systems. The game world is temporarily real enough due to immersion so it becomes real. Your real reward systems light up and take action: More! Do this! So you do.
So the game gives your brain all sorts of these varied set ups where the quadrants apply and you have to prioritise. You make successful decisions and your reward systems kick in. The game says, "here is a problem that exists". You solve it and your brain, unable to really tell the difference says "ok we need to do more of that". So it allocates resources to improve. And you do.
But its all fake. Fake progress. Fake accomplishments. Because its all fake, the reward centers get messed up. You know its fake. But your brain isn't great at really knowing fully that its fake. Regardless, you're now spending resources solving the game instead of the real world. The rewards become twisted as weak form punishments. Every time you realise that in the real world you arent progressing as much as you could you are effectively punished again.
None of this says you cannot play games or that they are not helpful. But like all escapes, its important to not close the door back to reality. Otherwise they become prisons.
The really pernicious part is after a while the constant and immediate reward cycles in games mess with the ability to focus on a real world tasks for extended periods of time and hence real world tasks no longer feel rewarding at all compared to gaming.
I usually download new games on my phone whenever I'm feeling bored. If the game turns out to be too good and addicting, I unintsall it after playing for 2-3 hours.
For me games are often just a more interactive version of YouTube or social media. Something to mindless do to occupy time when I don’t feel like putting in any effort.
I’ve scaled back on that quite a bit and it ofc just got replaced with items I compared it to in the prior paragraph. I still play games sometimes though, mostly because it’s a good way to keep in touch with some of my siblings who scattered across the country.
Yes; if you're not rich and/or happy, stay the fuck away from addictive shit like video games. Truly an industry that causes WAY more harm than good, by several orders of magnitude.
I’d like to slightly counter the enthusiastic responses to this comment.
First, I do think there’s value to much of what you’re saying.
With that said, if time spent writing code is becoming an escapist activity, and if one is escaping from sufficiently dark demons, consider speaking with a therapist as well.
I realize this will not apply to all readers, but the trouble with this advice starts if there is depression involved. “Just be more positive”, “Just stop doing the things that currently make you feel safe and a bit more ok”.
Until you address the root cause, it’s going to be difficult to implement these changes effectively.
And if you do, you might find a happy medium (I’m getting closer every day), where programming or gaming is just a thing I love (and continue to do), and not something I have to use to escape.
Was going to say the same thing: Immediately stopping things you enjoy, find comforting and are presumably good at (or experienced with at least), and in addition to starting new things that require extreme willpower to do (e.g. workout routines, intense social engagements, new hobbies that are not current interests)... That sort of thinking has personally been disastrous for me, or at best a very iterative process with a lot of failure and insecurity build in to it. I would always advocate to start slow with things, build off routines, take the occasional leap...sure...you have to to make any significant change, but take some small wins and build off of those. I'd worry someone reading that advice might be inclined to do everything in the extremes (as indicated) and suffer a breakdown or merely cement themselves in thinking they've been defeated. Maybe years from now is actually the best time for you to make that change, or meet that someone. Or maybe you just need to give up screens one or two days ... a week?
One of the tricky things about this from my own perspective, after having stopped giving a shit about web dev and to a lesser extent programming, is how do you continue to give enough of a shit to actually do a job? It's almost all worthless trash advertising or pointless middlemen products. How do you rebuild after realizing that it's just not worth the intense energy it sometimes requires?
It isn't as easy as it sounds I know, but find a job you love. What passions do you have in life? Where can you work that will scratch at least a tiny part of that itch?
I had a friend who hatred coding again, but got a job doing we dev for a vegan charity and that was it, he was back in the room since animal welfare was a major passion of his.
Find what it is you love (or at least like) and a job that will give you at least a small portion of that.
There is a lot of toxicity here and I think this is a good example of part of the problem. We have been injecting pc tolerance everywhere with little to no focus on men. Why can't I wear feminine esk clothing like a thumb ring. Men are unable to express themselves with dress or emotionally without being considered unattractive..
The advice does play into classic masculine stereotypes though. Almost like a movie trope where the hopeless nerd finds out he really was a cool jock the entire time.
Throw away your nerdy shit, get ripped in the gym, learn martial arts and dress well.
All that’s fine if that’s what you want but I don’t think it’s particularly aspirational for everyone. Even if elements like regular exercise and broadened activities are pretty universal good advice.
It’s also of it’s time and reading this feels like a lot of the advice givers are quite a bit older. The generation in their early twenties have different social mores and aspirations.
And hard as it may be to learn even ripped dudes that are snappy dressers can be depressed and can feel stuck in life.
Agreed. I guess better advice in regards to clothing would be to find something that fits you and that you feel good in. Masculine, feminine or something between, looking into the mirror and seeing clothes that look good is sure to be a small ego boost and other people might also treat you better in some subtle ways (basically the halo effect).
As for exercise, not everyone needs to get "ripped", but some exercise is likely to benefit everyone - from better cardiovascular health, to just feeling like you have more energy, as well as getting to a more healthy weight. Admittedly, that's why I've been jogging 3km every day for the last month in addition to strength training, and while I felt horrible the first week, things are better now.
Some of the other advice ends up being a tad too drastic, though.
Stopping doing science/maths probably isn't good idea - maybe just slightly decrease the amount of time you spend on them instead?
The amount of time spent gaming should also be controlled, but quitting "cold turkey" could be harmful. For some people it's a way to cope with bad situations or socialize - take away that escapism and you'll be left dealing with all of the other bad aspects of life with no outlet.
Martial arts and joining social groups all seem like good idea, but for the more introverted folks it might actually make them feel worse. Maybe try going to a few meetups at first instead?
As for Tinder and social media - those might lead to you comparing yourself to others too much, which often isn't entirely healthy. Also, dating apps in general don't work for many guys due to societal factors.
In terms of exercise, the I would strongly argue that the best advice is to test and explore new hobbies until something is enjoyable enough that they want to continue with it just for the fun of it. Going to the gym if you have every minute of it is not going to improve your health, but doing something physically that one enjoy brings many benefits.
A big upside about hobbies, especially if one focus a lot on it, is that one is likely to meet others who is enthusiastic in the same thing.
OP is suggesting a starting place for people who feel unmoored. It's an anecdote giving him a formula to try on for size.
The kind of person who has strong feelings about their sense of style (for example dressing more feminine) already has achieved a kind of center or "normal" for their personality that the person who posted this lacks.
The funny part is neither GP nor the other green accounts invested in defending the point don’t actually expand on what that means. Come on man, if you’re going say something like that under the guise of advice it’s probably best to spell it out.
This kind of subjectivist ideology in everything is what makes young men depressed in the first place. Yes, there is a way to dress that will improve your life, and there is a way to dress that won't, and it is not subjective within a culture.
Pretending that anyone can just do anything and be anything, including undesirable, and be perfectly happy and fulfilled, is just a cope.
People can definitely fall into the intellectual pit. They then abuse intellectual pursuits to distance themselves from reality. Fake challenges, fake problems, fake solutions, fake progress. If they later reconnect with reality, they discover they can use their intellect and physicality to solve real problems for real people. Along the way they connect to those real people and the very much broader reality in general. Often resulting in interesting stories to tell as well.
None of this is actually anti-intellectual or anti-programming.
Nand2Tetris, the book, and actually coding the entire project. It earned me a prestigious internship, from a no-name school, which subsequently lead to a FANG position.
Yes, see this post from earlier in the week. It is a youtube video in which dozens of local news stations repeat the exact same script.
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27550122
The CCP is becoming increasingly bold. They have ramped up their rhetoric regarding their One China policy and on their aim of "unifying" Taiwan.If it comes to invasion the US could choose to try and defend Taiwan, but it is perilous and they could only hope to hold off an invasion.
As a trade partner, Taiwan is a valuable ally to the US, but the potential cost of defense is enormous both in economic terms and human life lost. If the US were to intervene it would kick off a World War. The question of US intervention becomes a question of morals versus pragmatism.
Would China stop at Taiwan? If not where would they invade next? Where does the US draw the line? Where would the US have the best chance of making a decisive stand? Taiwan, unfortunately, is not easily defended from China.
Guesses follow. Mainly based upon my suspicion Chinese are falling into the curse of empires. Similar to how a billionaire will ascribe fiscal success to acumen in other fields. But on a national scale. This is extremely atypical of China’s history, but here we are with them rattling a bunch of their regional neighbors.
If they invade Taiwan, they won’t likely stop at Taiwan. But they probably won’t take another bite for a generation or so.
> If not where would they invade next?
Either Korea (both) or Japan. India antics are a feint. They’ll opportunistically “regent” Pakistan if a Pakistani collapse falls into their lap. If whatever they attempt after a successful Taiwan invasion is also successful, they’ll want a rematch with Vietnam.
> Where does the US draw the line?
From the Alaskan rhetoric, China is indicating they strongly suspect the US won’t ever draw a line as long as China continues to slowly bleed out the US. Doesn’t matter what US will do. China sets the cadence, it matters what China will do.
> Where would the US have the best chance of making a decisive stand?
Best time to plant a tree is 30 years ago. Next best time is today.
> Taiwan, unfortunately, is not easily defended from China.
With several hundred fusion bombs hypersonically delivered, a ham sandwich is defensible. Taiwan doesn’t need to mount a defense that convinces China that Taiwan will win. Taiwan just needs to convince China that China will lose, too.
Yep. Abandoning HK is just the beginning. When the rot gets too bad in an empire the only outcome is fall. Ask Rome, or any of the 100s of lesser empires that have come and gone. The era of Chinese-brand communism, super-charged by free markets (!) and the ruthless use of technology, is upon us. It's a keep-your-mouth-shut-and-you'll-be-fine era, and I for one will not survive in it, and I will mourn the passing of our cultural of praising dissent and whistleblowers and the trouble-makers that, more often than not, contribute far more than anyone else.
