1) When someone comments on your pull request about how you could make your code more efficient - don't get upset - be happy to learn and get better at coding. And get back at your code and refactor it.
2) If someone is mean to you. Like really _mean_ to you, tell them. (Or tell team lead etc...)
Some examples are:
- UX guy jumping up on you grabbing your keyboard while in the middle of complicated rebase = not ok!
- other developers not talking to you/ not helping you because they feel superior = not ok!
- random people coming up to your desk demanding you take immediate action because they experienced 'some bug' = not ok!
- people sending you cryptic emails "everything looks fucked up" = ... relax, tell them to send screenshots
3) Take breaks!
I actually think this is one of the hardest points and I still cannot get myself up sometimes for breaks - but yeah - fucking take breaks! You don't need to go out with the smokers every 40 mins, but try to break for lunch and mayyybeee socialize (if your co-workers are actually sociable)
4) I can't believe I'm actually posting this but - if you happen to be a straight male and there's a female on the team... ugh... don't stare at her boobs or at her in general - talk to her about code - yes there are female coders out there and fyi they are just like you so don't be too creepy and listen to what they have to say about your code. -__-
Sounds like she was making a general point there. It seems ok to include in a list of junior dev tips, if for no other reason than a friendly reminder.
Also, many junior devs are fresh out of college, where boob-staring is a fond past time and hitting on classmates is a normal thing. But that's not acceptable in the work place.
They might also not be used to talking to women about code if their classes are predominately male. There are a lot of unrealized biases and bad habits that can go away with time and experience, but this is a good reminder for the introverted and extroverted alike: the women on your team are geeks just like you. Geek out with them!
Aside: I had to catch one of my own bad habits writing this post. I initially wrote "girls" instead of "women", which can be marginalizing terminology.
I'm really horrible at this. As neat as I keep my git repos, I'm a chaotic keeping my disk organized.
My desktop started to regularly get crowded with files since I had a computer with an OS that made that possible.
Still move everything to "Stuff" whenever it gets too crowded and I don't want to make the decision yet whether I should delete this particular file or not.
At least I have a "Code", "Git" and "Stuff" folder now.
Go to a doctor and let them describe you something for depression. Worked for me.
Be open about your problems and don't be ashamed.
Most people feel the way you do.
I never lie to people about my mental issues - not even at work. Guess what? 95% of the people I worked with (all other programmers) were on some kind of meds, too - for depression, social anxiety, ADHD etc.. Feels so much better just being open about it and crack a joke here and there. "Let's just all put down work, go to the beach and cry!" "I'm in. I'll bring beer." "Oh, I wish I could!" [I remember that conversation happening on Slack once]
I don't know! Sitting home alone, pitying yourself and being upset about society never really changes anything. ;)
Happily for me, I don't have depression (at least, I think I don't).
But when I was a kid, the school begged my parents many times to take me to some kind of doctor, and this only offended my parents, that always refused, the exception is that they once too me to see if I was deaf or not.
After I reached adulthood, and flunked hard at life in general, that I went to seek medical help.
The results were:
1) the first few medics I went, believed I was a junkie wanting fake prescription, I have no idea why (I never used any illegal substance, never had used controlled meds before, and never got drunk, and never smoked).
2) My parents had a few nasty fights with me, claiming that I was normal and only doing what I was doing to hurt them or something.
3) As I went learning about my conditions, and started to be open about it, people instead started to interpret that I wanted pity and attention, or that I was humblebragging, and had invariably negative reactions.
4) Eventually I found a good medic, that prescribed me Ritalin, it is helping a little, but very little.
Among my issues is that I never learned how to work "hard", I only work in bursts, and only when I am interested or close to a deadline, school was extremely easy to me, I don't even know my teacher faces of the last school years because I just slept in the classes (and still aced the tests), I never learned to sit down quiet and study, this is now biting me in the ass (I don't had Calculus classes on university, and now that I need it I am trying to learn by myself, but I keep getting distracted...)
I never learned hwo to pretend that I am working, like people do in their workplaces, even when I was the highest performing person in the workplace I still got fired because I was not "serious" or I wasn't "wearing the company shirt", because while all my co-workers just sat staring at their code 8 hours, I coded all that I had to code in 1 hour and then spent the rest goofing around on youtube and reddit.
When I DO want to code 8 hours, I still end goofing around too easily (example: Xcode crashes... while I wait for it to launch I decide to read e-mail, one e-mail has a link to wikipedia... and here we go wasting 4 hours reading wikipedia).
Plus lots of other issues irrelevant to work performance (like needing stuff cut-off from t-shirts, moving all the time to the point of losing a girlfriend over it, puking when eating certain foods, inability to communicate with "normal" people, because no matter what phrase I construct, it keeps getting way over their heads, and the list goooooes on).
The best I found I can do is rant on internet sometimes.
And keep taking Ritalin properly, and going to the psychologist... still very slow progress, I am 28, live with my parents, have no girlfriend, I am unemployed, and don't own any property (but have debts, my total net worth is negative).
Have to admit that this sounds a lot like myself.
I actually dropped out of uni 4 times or so, because I just couldn't deal with having to sit in class focus or hand in homework in time. I was still interested in the subject and _wanted_ to learn, but this wasn't the way for me.
I could go on about my work experience - which was also similar to yours despite I let myself go - but when I start raging it's hard to stop and afterwards I often feel worse than before. ;)
I learnt that I get mostly motivated by projects I come up myself, so I try stick to my own stuff for a while to level up my skills. (I _need_ an outlet for all my creativity...)
And try to connect with people who are also building interesting things (and aren't assholes) and from whom you can learn new things. DIY scene is pretty nice place to be in really.
I try not to focus so much on work and career for now, because to be honest - working at that last office left me a bit with a trauma and I came to realize that I only have one life and I don't want to have to waste it with doing something I hate or that makes me feel like s*. So no more offices for me at the moment.
About the meds and therapy - it is a slow process, yes. And I actually had to try seven or so different kinds of meds until I found the right one that helped. It still makes me feel a bit weird and dull (sometimes annoying), but so much better than before...
I'm also 28, unemployed, in debt.
But meh, still could be worse.
I have a dog, too and have to admit I sometimes use her as an "emotions detector" - much like a guide dog, because I'm actually not that good at recognizing people's emotions/moods. The angles at which she puts her ears and head are pretty reliable and easy to read indicators. :)
When she sees someone's upset or sad she'll walk over to them and cheer them up. Even random people in the street or on the subway. I mostly fail to even notice...
