I like your essay, but you're way off-base in your latest analysis of Paul Graham's essay. Your conclusion that 'Paul Graham's wrong on the value of a hacker culture (sadly)' can be contradicted with a single word. Software.
You make a great argument, but Apple is not in the software business.
This distinction between being in the "hardware business" or the "software business" is what much of the rest of the industry follows and, as a result, has allowed Apple many of its inroads in the last decade. People want and buy products, and good high-tech products are a result of good software running on good hardware.