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A good simple example: I don't like cooking alone.

Cooking for my wife and me together? Love it..




There are six human needs, they say: certainty, variety (uncertainty), significance, love, growth and contribution

Cooking alone doesn't check the same boxes. It probably gives you only more "certainty" of being fed, but you're not craving more of that.

Cooking for you and your wife probably gives you some significance (you like being appreciated for making a nice meal), love and a sense of contribution. Way more satisfying!


Going deeper it can mean anything from having a person you want to impress, a parent that you just can't ever seem to make proud, or seeing someone succeed their way out of your impoverished upbringing.




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