Every Apple user has this complaint at some point with some feature, and either buckles and just accepts the Apple way or, very very rarely, will go to the effort of installing something to deal with it.
Apple's foundational ethos is that they pick a single implementation and run with it, only making it configurable if held at gunpoint.
As a long term apple customer I would be happy to throw away out of the window every single device and their entire walled ecosystem in face of a decent alternative.
Unfortunately (or thankfully, depends on standpoint) the benefits outweigh nuisances.
I feel the same way. When I look at my aging Apple computer(s) I think about all the annoying OS choices that they made that are difficult or impossible to configure away or work around, and I tell myself, "That's it. My next computer will not be Apple!" But, then I look and see the shit that every other manufacturer offers and I can't believe how bad it all is. The hardware is mostly cheap, cheesy, flimsy, plastic garbage, and the software choices are 1. Windows which is so intrusive and user-hostile that I consider it malware and 2. Linux which has been perpetually "will be ready for prime time about 2 years from now." The last time I upgraded Debian on my home lab server, it failed and I had to boot in single user mode to carefully fix it so it would even boot.
Fortunately, Apple's hardware almost always 2X+ outlasts its software support, so I won't have to make an actual buying decision for many years.
Apple's foundational ethos is that they pick a single implementation and run with it, only making it configurable if held at gunpoint.