Wow, thank you for this, it is a gem of a comment. I truly want to implement this and I see a massive potential to improve what I do...but...
My brain is basically overloaded with stress and I'm headed for burnout...only 18 months into this position. I just can't handle the tech stack, the shitty office, the commute, the feelings of being the worst analyst and the worst researcher in every single room I'm in. It is totally wearing me down. Management said new employees can get work from home after 12 months, then at 18 months I asked, and they revoked their verbal agreement and said they'd reconsider their decision if I made an article and let someone else be first author on it (unethical).
Outside of my complaints...I'm just not a great worker. I just feel that the whole team and department would be better off without me, that I can not handle this tech stack and QoL and its frustrations...govt is a very very restrictive environment and I feel like a circle being jammed into the square hole. I can't implement most of what these comments stated because I can not install anything onto my computing environment...even Python, I have to go through red tape and request special access to use Python instead of R and STATA.
I'm sorry to vent but all of these shortcomings are seriously burning me out.
It's fine to vent; it's half of what the internet is for.
Since the internet is also for acting like you know what you are talking about and offering unsolicited advice, I'll also drop some here. Feel free to ignore it, and I hope you situation gets better, either at your current job or a new one.
I won't speak too much to your work skills, because I don't know you; but feeling like and worrying that you're terrible at your job is a pretty normal experience. You pretty much have to rely on whether other people think you are doing a good job because people in general are garbage at judging their own skill. It's pretty hard to tell the difference between "I think I'm doing poorly and am" and "I think I'm doing poorly and am actually doing fine", without a lot of feedback from people you trust (ideally, your coworkers).
If your coworkers think you're doing fine, well, you can't stop worrying about it, but you'll at least have some evidence against your feelings; if your coworkers think that you're under-performing, they might at least be able to offer some advice on how to do better.
The burnout advice I have to give is in three parts: first, focus on making some small, incremental progress every day; second, avoid the temptation to overwork; third, make sure to invest time in your life outside of work.
The first is both about positive thinking and also about developing good work habits. The second is because it doesn't usually work (you end up doing less with more time, which is even more depressing than feeling like you aren't getting enough done in 8 hours). The third is because you will feel better and be more resilient if your entire identity isn't invested in your job. It's easier to both to avoid burnout and to recover from it when it does happen if your job is only one part of your life.
I sincerely doubt that you. You sound like a conscientious employee in an environment not set up for the kind of work you were hired to do. You also sound like you want to leave your job - which can give you leverage. Not that you should threaten to quit, but that since you are so unhappy, you are willing to quit. That means you can start saying what kind of computing environment you need. Not want, but need.
Personally, I think that having source control is basic table-stakes when writing code as a part of a job.
I’m sorry to hear that. I’d recommend looking for a new job (if possible), the market is in your favour at the moment (edit: if you live in a big city in Europe or the USA).
Otherwise, another poster commented that a git training course paid for by the company could help (+ give you some relief from burning out).
My brain is basically overloaded with stress and I'm headed for burnout...only 18 months into this position. I just can't handle the tech stack, the shitty office, the commute, the feelings of being the worst analyst and the worst researcher in every single room I'm in. It is totally wearing me down. Management said new employees can get work from home after 12 months, then at 18 months I asked, and they revoked their verbal agreement and said they'd reconsider their decision if I made an article and let someone else be first author on it (unethical).
Outside of my complaints...I'm just not a great worker. I just feel that the whole team and department would be better off without me, that I can not handle this tech stack and QoL and its frustrations...govt is a very very restrictive environment and I feel like a circle being jammed into the square hole. I can't implement most of what these comments stated because I can not install anything onto my computing environment...even Python, I have to go through red tape and request special access to use Python instead of R and STATA.
I'm sorry to vent but all of these shortcomings are seriously burning me out.